Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
