i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
