Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
