You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Randomize