He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Randomize
