How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
