she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Randomize
