I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
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