so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
What a fucking waste of an outfit
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Randomize
