Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
