Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
Randomize
