You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Randomize
