i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
