so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
wow bdsm is so cute
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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