Do vagina's smell?
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
she told me i tasted like america
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
If I had your ass I would rule the world
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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