i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
