maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
