omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Randomize