You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
He better not be in your backpack
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
