There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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