Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
Randomize
