Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
