Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
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