I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
she woke up with a sticky ear
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
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