You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
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