have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Randomize
