wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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