I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
Randomize
