I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
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mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
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Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
I made him laugh his dick is mine
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
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