he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
What changed your mind?
Being sober
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
