idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
