I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
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