I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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