Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
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is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
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my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
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