i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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