We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
Is it because I queefed?
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
Come share oat with me in your robe
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
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