I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Randomize
