Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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