It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize
