i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
