We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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