He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
