Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
