If that was your dad, he is hot
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
i used baking grease as lip gloss
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
Randomize
