When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize
