hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Randomize
