cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
And my parents said I crawled through the house
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
