If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
