I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
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