Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
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