her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Randomize
