Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Randomize