their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Randomize
