just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
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