I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
