We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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