Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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