just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
