shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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