Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
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