Already got asked if we're dating
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
